Collaborative Divorce Northwest Blog

How Collaborative Family Law Reduces The Hostility Of Divorce

C. Sean Stephens — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:31:04 +0000

We see Oregonians seeking divorce turn to collaborative divorce for a variety of reasons. For some, they choose the collaborative approach because they want to maintain control of the divorce process instead of leaving the decisions up to a judge. Others simply wish to avoid the adversarial divorce they saw their parents have. Conventional divorces can often be emotionally draining and difficult, especially for any children involved. Collaborative divorce seeks to avoid the hostility of conventional divorce by giving equal consideration to the needs of both spouses. It also keeps the needs of the children at the forefront of the divorce process. Collaborative divorce attorneys negotiate for the best outcome while remaining respectful and cooperative. The parties focus on openly communicating and sharing information. The collaborative process focuses on amicably reaching a settlement while avoiding litigation. In short, people who choose collaborative divorce strive for a win-win situation instead of struggling for a win-lose situation. Collaborative family law is an attractive choice for those who want a more positive outcome after a divorce.

The Role of the Coach and Career Counselor in Collaborative Divorce

GailNicholson — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 18:09:00 +0000

Considering a collaborative divorce and curious about the role of the divorce coach? And how exactly can a career counselor help?

Coaches have mental health backgrounds. They are counselors, social workers and psychologists trained in the collaborative divorce process. Initially your coach will meet with you one on one to help you define goals for the collaborative process. They are interested in understanding your special needs and any issue that could create a logjam at the legal level. They help keep you on track with the collaborative divorce process and coordinate with your attorney and the rest of the team.

Your coach creates a safe place to sort through feelings you have about your divorce and provides supportive counseling. They work with you to identify ways to improve communication with your spouse, solve problems, articulate your needs and wants and resolve conflicts. In short, they help you achieve the goals you define for your divorce process and on-going relationships with your children and former spouse.

In addition, some coaches offer help with reentering or enhancing involvement with the workplace. Career counseling can provide the team with information regarding career plan timing, vocational activities and potential earnings. This can help facilitate the couple’s financial, custody and support decisions.

With the vocational counselor’s guidance, clients become more aware of interests and values that support an emerging and stronger sense of self. The experience of self-exploration, decision-making, follow through and success all confirm that you have the power to reshape your life after the major disruption and loss of divorce. The process can help you take charge of your life and empower you to reach decisions about a future that is yours alone.

Source Reviewed: Collaborative Review, Spring 2008/ Vocational Counseling Helps Clients with Work, Collaborative Process and Life by Betty Kohlenberg, MS, CRC, D/ABVE

By Gail Jean Nicholson, MA, LPC

Top 8 Benefits of Collaborative Divorce vs. Traditional Divorce.

C. Sean Stephens — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 17:11:04 +0000

Are you considering a collaborative divorce vs. a traditional divorce? You are not alone. While it is a process of election, and you cannot force your spouse into the process (that wouldn’t be very collaborative, would it?) there are some good reasons to use the collaborative divorce process if your spouse is willing, and your family is a good fit for the process. The following 8 advantages are our non-exclusive list of the benefits of collaborative divorce.

The process is generally less costly than litigation. A cooperative resolution is usually less expensive than a contested one.
The process is generally less time-consuming. The collaborative case can frequently be completed within 4-6 meetings vs. up to a year for a contested case.
An atmosphere of cooperation reduces the stress that accompanies traditional divorce. A common set of rules govern how spouses, lawyers, and participants interact, minimizing the abrasive conduct present in many traditional cases.
Each party has the assistance of counsel. Collaborative Divorce comes with the benefit of expert attorney assistance without the hostile atmosphere of litigation.
Each party is a vital part of the settlement team. Both sides are treated as critical parts of the settlement team, and not adversaries.
The team can focus on settlement without the imminent threat of “going to court.” The parties sign a participation agreement that says these parties and these lawyers will not take this matter to litigation. This eliminates tactical bargaining backed by threats of litigation.
The client controls the proceedings. Rather than have a Judge in a robe decide a family’s parenting and financial future, the parties themselves work out an agreement. The decision making power stays with the participants.
The collaborative process focuses on interest-based bargaining. In a collaborative case, parties focus on the underlying concerns, needs, and interests of the parties. Traditional cases usually involve position based bargaining, where each side commits to a position early in litigation and only thinks of their own wants and needs.

The lawyers at Stephens Margolin PC have training in collaborative divorce law, and can help through you through the collaborative process, and help you decide if the collaborative process is right for you.

Association of Family and Conciliation Courts – Special Issue on Collaborative Practice

Daniel Margolin — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 20:36:23 +0000

The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts has focussed the April 2011 volume of Family Court Review on collaborative practice. The articles include insight into the History and Development of Collaborative Practice by Stu Webb and Ron Ousky; Collaborative Practice in Canada; Expanding Collaborative Divorce Through the Social Sciences by Mark Otis; the Growth of Collaborative Practice by Pauline Tessler; and, among other topics, the future of collaborative practice by Forrest Mosten.

It is exciting to see such an important journal make collaborative practice a feature. This is a clear indication of the growth of the collaborative process into the mainstream.

Daniel Margolin and C. Sean Stephens are both trained in the collaborative process and utilize it for both divorce matters and prenuptial agreement drafting. They are happy to inform potential clients on the benefits of the collaborative process.

Book Recommendation: Collaborative Divorce by Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson

C. Sean Stephens — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 17:42:41 +0000

Interested in the collaborative process but don’t know where to start? Interested but not quite ready to talk to a collaborative trained lawyer? This book by Paulie Tesler and Peggy Thompson, Collaborative Divorce, , The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life, was written specifically for divorcing couples and explains how to navigate through your divorce successfully using an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce team. In collaborative divorce, a professional team (a lawyer for each spouse, a divorce coach for each spouse, a neutral financial consultant, and a neutral child specialist) helps couples focus on their highest shared hopes and intentions, and to find areas of agreement as the basis for dealing with more challenging issues.

This is a well written book, and one that we give out during collaborative divorce consultations. Our experience has been that sharing Tessler’s book with your spouse can turn what would have been a traditional litigated divorce case into a collaborative one.

Popularity of Collaborative Law

admin — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 04:37:08 +0000

Collaborative Law is gaining in popularity with the general public. A sign of this is that Avery Brewing released a beer that honors the Collaborative process.
More information can be learned here: http://www.averybrewing.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=91&Itemid=75

Understanding Tax for divorced and divorcing spouses

Daniel Margolin — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 20:21:37 +0000

One of the most beneficial parts of the collaborative process is the ability of divorcing spouses to figure out and implement the best possible tax strategies for their family now and in the future. This is done by working with the financial neutral and the lawyers to understand the tax implications of the divorce. Many times the lawyers will also work with the family’s CPA. The IRS has provided some helpful publications to assist divorced and divorcing spouses better understand the tax code. A good reference for these publications can be found here: http://jeannehannah.typepad.com/blog_jeanne_hannah_traver/2011/03/irs-resources-for-divorced-and-divorcing-people.html#more.

The lawyers at Stephens Margolin PC bring a wealth of technical knowledge to the table in collaborative cases and have a team of professionals they work with to create best outcomes.

Avoiding Financial Mistakes in Divorce

Daniel Margolin — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 21:34:43 +0000

The Huffington Post published a thoughtful article on financial mistakes that women make in divorces. The article can be read here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeffrey-a-landers/the-top-6-serious-financi_b_824853.html#s242241&title=Not_securing_alimony

One of the benfits of collaborative divorce is that the team approach allows for more layers of protection. A spouse is not relying only on his/her lawyer to protect them. The other lawyer is looking out for financial issues that could affect both parties. Most importantly, the financial neutral is there to make sure that the family as a whole is properly protected.

Book Recommendation – Good Karma Divorce

Daniel Margolin — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:58:45 +0000

Family court judge Michele Lowrance recently wrote a book titled “The Good Karma Divorce.” The premise of the book is “The American court system was not built to house or process the violent emotions unleashed by divorce. Attorneys are not trained to reduce the attendant suffering of their divorcing clients and families, and judges have a limited toolkit of remedies. Divorcing couples embark on this frightful journey, believing that the court will deliver justice, and that justice will deliver peace. Most discover somewhere during the process that they are achingly, horribly, alone. This book is the insurance policy against having the kind of divorce you always feared, while showing you how to protect yourself, your children, your finances, your soul, and your psyche.”

The book is a good introduction into some of the reasons that divorcing spouses are choosing the collaborative process. Information on the book can be found here: http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/.

How the Economic Downturn is Affecting Divorce Rates

Daniel Margolin — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 19:47:57 +0000

The Washington Post published an article on the fact that estranged spouses are increasingly waiting out the economic downturn before divorcing. The article can be read here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/21/AR2010032103139.html

While I am always in favor of people being able to save their marriage, it is unfortunate if a couple has to stay married even though they do not want to be. Collaborative divorce can provide a more flexible and creative approach to dealing with the impact of the economic downturn on a married couple’s ability to divorce.